A Feeling of Wrongness

I think it’s pretty clear that how you approach something can effect the outcome. For example, going into a lecture feeling hungover and negative usually ends in you counting down the minutes until it’s over. But what if you’re someone who strongly knows when something isn’t right for you, and no matter how positively you go into it, in the back of your head you know that you won’t be doing this in the future?

Recently I took part in a work experience opportunity that gave me an insight into a certain type of job and industry. Obviously I went into it feeling nervous; I had to get up super early (which my body never agrees with), I was going to a place I’d never been before, and I didn’t really know what to expect. Thankfully I didn’t faint, which we all know is one of my party tricks. So basically I went into it feeling more on the negative side, simply due to nerves. It was all okay though, because I was doing what I do well. Writing. And the people were nice and it was a nice place. But within a day I knew it wasn’t for me. It had always been a perfectly viable job option, and yet I could sense this wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing.

A lot of people do jobs that they don’t want to do in order to live. It sounds stupid, but I know when I’m not supposed to be doing something. I get a feeling of wrongness. A lot of the time it feels like I’m the one doing something wrong, maybe I have high standards or I’m just being naive with how I see my future, but once in a while something happens that doesn’t give me that sense. It feels right, and it tells me that I’m not crazy and that there are things out there for me.

My work experience ended on a high note, with my mentor giving me praise for my work. How can something I’m reasonably good at be something that I don’t enjoy doing? It’s food for thought, but is my feeling of wrongness just the universe telling me that this isn’t my path? Or is it just me?